Preface written, let me say again that I understand
financial problems. When Brian and I separated four years ago, I found myself
drowning in debt – mortgage, a line of equity on the house, student loans,
credit cards, medical bills – the list went on and on and on and on. There was
a time when I didn’t want to go to the mailbox or answer the phone because it
was easier to stick my head in the sand like an ostrich then deal with the
creditors hunting me down for money I simply didn’t have. I would never take my own life, but there
were times when I knew that I was financially worth more dead than I was alive:
my daughters would have inherited more life insurance than I could earn or keep
in the bank to pay bills.
Those were extremely difficult and stressful days that I
hope we never have to relive. My mom has been instrumental in making sure that
my daughters and I have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and food in
our bellies. We live in her home, and after my divorce, my mom and I merged our
banking accounts. Despite having a full time job that I love, there is no way I
could support Em, Ella and myself on my salary alone. Even with child support,
my debt to income ratio is not do-able.
Our financial circumstances have greatly improved over the
last four years. There is still debt, but I don’t live in a constant state of
stress, sick with worry about how or if we were going to make it. I know
that God is the reason we are in better financial standings; He is the reason
we have everything we do. He is the reason we have a home and
transportation to work and school; He is the reason we have clothing; He is the
reason that Em, Ella and I have the luxury of having a mani-pedi afternoon
together; He is the reason I can pay bills, make payments on the debt, and
still have a little left over to start building some savings.
Growing up in church, I was taught to and thought I had a
pretty good grasp on the concept of tithing. I remember watching my mom sit
down every Sunday morning to write out her check and put it in that week’s
offering envelope before we went to church. When I was a child, someone always
made sure I had a dollar to put in the offering plate as it was passed around
the congregation during Sunday worship.
Despite all of my (our) financial blessings, I have not
tithed with any sort of consistency – mainly because we haven’t had a church
home we attended with any regularity. While I have given back financially, in
the small amounts I am able, I know it isn’t the same thing as giving a monthly
tithe.
Last Sunday at Mt. Airy, the pastor did a fantastic sermon
on what it means to tithe. Money is a difficult thing to talk about in church,
or anywhere else for that matter, and there are a lot of people who are
skeptical about handing their hard-earned money to a church or religious
institution. Unfortunately, even in churches, there are dishonest people who
take money and use it in ways other than those God intended.
The scriptural basis for the pastor’s sermon came from
Malachi – a book of the Bible with which I admit to not being terrible
familiar. I looked it up so I could share it here. This passage comes from
Malachi 3:6-10:
“I the LORD do not
change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. Ever since the
time of your ancestors you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept
them. Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the LORD Almighty.
“But you ask, ‘How are we to return?’
“Will a mere mortal rob
God? Yet you rob me.
“But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’
“In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse—your whole
nation—because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse,
that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty,
“and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much
blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. I will prevent pests
from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their
fruit before it is ripe,” says the LORD Almighty. “Then all the nations will
call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the LORD Almighty.
The pastor
explained the difference between giving and tithing in a way that made sense to
me. He said that tithing is returning to God what God has given
to us, which is why a tithe is supposed to be 10% of an individual’s earnings.
An offering or giving is just that – it is the extra financial donations people
give to God and their church.
I have a job and a
salary because God blessed me with those things. Yes, I went to school and
earned a couple of degrees. And I am writing checks every month to pay off my
student loan debt. I have gone on job interviews, worked, and built a resume
that makes me desirable in my profession (I hope). I completed the application paperwork
for my LPC and I am putting in the client and supervision hours to earn my
license. However, I firmly believe it is God who provided all of these
opportunities along the way to get me to where I am currently – in a job I love
where I am helping others.
“You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands
have produced this wealth for me.” But remember the LORD your God, for it is he
who gives you the ability to produce wealth.” Deuteronomy
8:17-18
Tithing isn’t as
much about the money as it is an act of faith and gratitude. By tithing a mere
10% of my salary, I am giving back to God, first and foremost, what He has
given to me and my daughters. Our pastor described tithing as “giving God your
first and best and allowing God to bless the rest.” Whatever it is on our lives
we want God to bless, he said, we have to put God first.
After the sermon, I
went home and pulled out the spiral notebook that I use as my checking account
register. [Side Note: Yes. I am the last dinosaur on the planet who writes
checks because I enjoy the illusion of controlling where my money goes and when
it leaves my banking account. Direct deposit is a fantastic banking service.
Automatic withdrawals don’t work for me. Not only am I ‘old-fashioned’ that
way, but in learning how to regain control of my finances after the divorce, it
was very helpful for me to do things ‘old skool’ and actually write things down
in a notebook, do the math myself, and truly see where my money was going. I
like my notebook, pencil and calculator and refuse to apologize for who I am. I
think it is part of what makes me charming and endearing.] I thumbed through the month of March and
wrote down my work deposits in one column and mom’s work deposits in another. I
added up our individual earnings for the month and took 10% from each amount to
figure what my tithe and her tithe should be each month.
Endeavoring to put
God first in everything that I do, my plan is to begin giving my tithe back to
God every week. I see this gesture as an act of thanksgiving for all of the
blessings in my life, and I also have faith and believe that God will bless the
remainder of my money. This is my prayer.
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